In my work as a hypnotherapist for high achievers, I have found that many are silent sufferers of social anxiety. It’s not enough to just visualize your self as calm and confident in these settings. The subconscious is too clever for that to really work in most cases. Here’s what will.
For entrepreneurs and other professionals who must network and market, social anxiety can be crippling. Here’s how one Bridgenosis session helped one entrepreneur overcome and eliminate social anxiety and get moving on his marketing efforts.
In his case, he was a very confident speaker and actually enjoyed doing seminars. It was a mystery why he was feeling social anxiety at networking events and why he was procrastinating really putting him self out there through needed marketing efforts.
Through an investigative conversational technique I call Bridgenosis, we discovered that his subconscious formed a negative association with socializing. You know that young, awkward stage when people are still developing? Well, this client was smaller than average at that time, and the other insecure boys made fun of him.
At that tender age, the mind is still forming beliefs about oneself and the world through others’ opinions. Plus, you are limited in your choices, relationships, and environment, so the mind amplifies other people’s opinions. Since discretion is not really used during this process, sometimes the mind gets it wrong. When this “bullying” happened, his mind developed a fear that he wasn’t good enough and of being judged.
In truth, the boys were wrong, but, again, the subconscious does not have discretion. It only remembers the experience and the negative words and emotions associated.
In an effort to protect him, it created a program of signaling a warning with anxiety when he was in social settings. It also avoided situations of being judged when his influence is out of his control. Thus, networking triggered anxiety.
In a speaking setting, he was calm and confident because he could engage the group and exercise control by choosing his audience, responding to questions and planning the exchange. Marketing was a scary proposition because it involved putting himself out there for anyone to see his offerings, and he would not have control over the exchange.
Once we understood the subconscious block, it was easy to reprogram his mind with hypnosis to be calm and confident in social situations and while creating and promoting his marketing. This is a necessary step because the subconscious is like a computer that requires specific language to update its software. Think of me as a mind software developer.
He listened to the audio-mindshifter (hypnosis file) we created during the session for a week. Two weeks after the session, he reported that he had started five new marketing initiatives and attended a couple of networking events without any anxiety. Imagine the positive impact this is having on his company’s bottom-line.
Bottom-line: There is no reason for you to continue experiencing social anxiety. Your specific underlying reason (limiting belief) may be different from this client’s; however, the process we used to uncover and shift the limiting patterns and programs to a calm and confident mindset around socializing, networking, and marketing is the same. Next posts will discuss how to overcome public speaking anxiety, panic or nervousness. Check out the first one here.