Are you the type of public speaker who will stress and worry over your presentation for days and weeks to come before the engagement? I’ve had several clients like you (and I have done it myself, in law school). You over-prepare and then perform a little like a robot?
The most common patterns behind this I’ve seen sometimes come from stressful circumstances. Nevertheless, it can be reversed. Allow me to explain what I mean and what you can do about it.
When your subconscious computer is downloading information in your environment and about your relationships in the early years, it will draw conclusions and form autopilot programs to help you succeed. Suppose you have a sibling, parent, teacher or someone else repeatedly in your life who is highly sensitive, or emotionally fragile? Usually these individuals are highly judgmental of themselves and others. They strongly react in a negative way to words and actions, which may not even warrant such a reaction.
When this is the M.O. in any of your limited environments, one brilliant way your mind will learn to cope with it is to attempt to learn what and what not to say or do. You will automatically hide parts of you and work hard to try to ensure that your communications are “flawless.” You’re anxiously walking on egg-shells from prep to delivery.
When you create and prepare for a presentation, you filter the message to ensure the receiver is not upset, and it takes hours. The problem is that the filter is too strong. Your computer assumes everyone has the same sensitivity level as the person(s) you encountered earlier in life, and this is false.
Your computer has an automatic fear of not meeting the audience’s standards, a fear of being a creator, perhaps because you recall not being able to do so previously without drawing unwarranted criticism. Your authentic self (aka intuition, inner-creator) is suppressed. You stress for weeks as you over-prepare and then sound like a robot when you present because you’re trying to make sure you deliver what you memorized.
The good news is that your subconscious computer is absolutely programmable-it loves new programs, it craves upgrades. Ok, so maybe there’s a judgment program around admitting to limiting beliefs and/or an unfamiliarity and skepticism with hypnosis to address.
Compassion comes first-everyone’s computer works basically the same way: Everyone has beliefs that expire and need to be reprogrammed. This is how it works, so judging it as bad or wrong makes no sense. In fact, the person(s) who was highly sensitive and judging themselves too easily, overreacting to you long ago, just needed this upgrade. They weren’t bad or wrong. They were doing their best. They meant no harm.
They didn’t have the ninja mind tools we have today to transform them. And, they are not to blame-these patterns have been passed down for generations…who knows when it started? Maybe with Adam and Eve or the cave people. Doesn’t matter. All that matters is that we have new mind technology, and not using it wastes your precious time, money, and energy.
Faith in your authentic self/intuition and your computer’s ability to upgrade comes next: When you’re public speaking, it’s necessary that your computer support your authentic self. This is what will inspire your creativity and bring you the right words as you prepare and deliver. Increasing your subconscious faith in your ability to listen to and spontaneously respond to your audience is key. This is the solution.
There may be people in your audience that will misinterpret you no matter what you say, but this should not deter you from reaching the ones who will hear and appreciate you. Your authentic self has something important to say, and your audience needs to hear it (even those who may struggle will benefit in ways you may not understand). You are safe and encouraged to speak from your entire authentic self now-you are no longer stuck relying solely on people who can’t hear you.
For nearly six years now, I’ve seen people time and time again upgrade their computers by deleting these (and more) expired patterns. It is quite easy to retrain the subconscious to follow your intuition. Communicating to your subconscious that you are safe and that your intuition (authentic self) is a valid messenger with the perfect creativity, words, and wisdom needed to fulfill your speaking engagement is key.
Upgrading your subconscious computer requires a different type of communication than straight talking, which is where hypnosis comes into play. The hypnotherapist crafts suggestions and a message to facilitate YOU making the change. “You” is in all caps because only you can change your subconscious-no one else can. Forget the weird man with the watch-that’s just in the movies.
If you want to keep reading about public speaking, check out Part 4.