Hiring a public speaking coach to become a better speaker is not enough if anxiety and nervousness are at play. There’s something else you need to add to your tool kit.
Most talented public speaking coaches will teach you valuable verbal and nonverbal communication tactics, some of which can help you move through the anxiety. What if I told you that you could stop it from playing a role all together? Even better, what if the same process that helps you get past the anxiety also makes you a better speaker? In this and subsequent posts, I will explain what’s behind the anxiety and how you overcome it, based on my experience helping many amazing speakers.
First, if you get nervous, feel anxious, or even panic some or all of the times that you prepare for and actually perform public speaking, you are not alone. In fact, having worked with well-loved, talented, and highly paid speakers, I can assure you that even some of them have experienced this, if not regularly, at least on occasion.
Second, while the approach I will describe through a common case study works universally in all my cases, the underlying reasons for public speaking anxiety vary from person to person.
Before: It’s common for a client to only experience speaking anxiety under certain circumstances. In this example, these were the scenarios causing stress and panic:
- Person introducing speaker is nervous.
- Speaker is asked to speak on the spot or the order of speakers changes (they are called on “too soon”).
- “New kid on the block” in a meeting.
To understand what was triggering anxiety in these settings, think of your subconscious as your built-in computer. It creates associations and forms beliefs and habits or responses based on experiences.
The prototype in this kind of a case is that of a highly perceptive person that picks up on other people’s energies pretty easily. When they were younger and relying on one or both parents (or stuck living with a sibling) who were either abusive or had strong judgmental personalities, their subconscious learned to modify their communication and behavior to try to mitigate the circumstances where the parent or sibling was exhibiting negative emotion or behavior or expressing a negative opinion of them. In this scenario, the person subconsciously abandons their own internal compass, centeredness, and confidence and adopts what is most acceptable in the environment.
Part of the subconscious programming was also to create a habit of picking up the other person’s negative emotion and overly empathizing with them. This is what is happening in the case of picking up on the introducer’s nervousness. They are subconsciously identifying with and matching the energy of the person for whom they are relying on for the introduction.
The mind also creates a positive association with situations that it thinks it can control. Knowing in advance exactly when they will speak, it then creates a confident and comfortable mindset around that order. If the mind has negative memories of encountering unpredictable situations (such as not knowing when a parent or sibling will be mean), then when things are out of order, it will automatically feel fear and exhibit nervousness or anxiety.
It’s a specific program related to things “being out of order” whether it’s a harmless situation or not. The mind does not have discretion, so it doesn’t know the difference, unless you reprogram it.
Applying this to the final situation, the mind is anticipating negative judgment in a new group until it feels accepted by the group. Therefore, when they are the “new kid” on the block, they feel nervous, as the mind asks, “Am I good enough?”
This is pretty deep stuff, and most people think they can’t change. Perhaps you are reading this and thinking about your own efforts to change and to heal or maybe you have made lots of strides, but there’s still that underlying nervousness or anxiety that comes up now and then, like in speaking scenarios.
I am 100 percent certain that your mind can change.
There’s hope because the subconscious can be reprogrammed, and it doesn’t have to take months or years. For many, it happens overnight, a matter of days or a matter of weeks. Over five years ago, I stumbled upon and developed a method and technology that works for me and many others.
The Bridgenosis form of uncovering patterns and transmuting them once and for all, using a unique form of hypnosis (and sometimes with other complimentary tools) works wonders. It’s actually much easier than you may realize to reprogram the subconscious. For public speaking anxieties, most clients have had success with one session (including the follow-up call) and some have needed two.
In this type of case, the clients no longer experience anxiety or nervousness in these scenarios. In addition, they also feel more confident and more sure of themselves when they are speaking. There’s a stronger energy behind their words and a more authentic and joyful exchange with their audience.
When you are updating your Mac or PC, do you notice the difference between upgrading the global settings, which positively and efficiently impacts your whole system, and just making local tweaks and changes as you go? Well, you’re subconscious is your most valuable computer, and Bridgenosis is a super-hypnosis process that resets your global settings so you don’t have to keep trying to control the same negative thoughts you’ve had forever and battle with anxiety. There’s not the constant tweaking.
If this case study doesn’t resonate with you but you are experiencing public speaking anxiety or nervousness, check out these blog posts: Part 2, Part 3, and Part 4. Multiple patterns impact public speaking.