As I explained in my last post, public speaking anxiety is just a symptom of a chronic limiting belief(s) that is expired and ready to be deleted from your subconscious mind. That post details a few specific limiting patterns that may be holding you back. In this post, we’ll discuss a few more.
A number of my clients have deleted the following belief patterns to stop anxiety (and even panic) from playing a role in their speaking engagements:
- I’m afraid I don’t deserve to be in the spotlight. I’m not good enough.
- I have a fear of being seen as arrogant and having others feel jealous and envy me. If I want to be liked, I can’t stand out to much. Others will feel bad if I shine.
- If I’m having fun, I’m not being helpful or productive.
There’s an underlying cultural belief that to be valuable and valued, you have to be special and to feel the “grind” (joy-kill). And, to be special, you have to be superior to others. There’s another belief that contradicts this: If you stand out too much and are “superior,” then others will feel inferior, and you’re responsible and guilty for that. So, the mental struggle that most people face without realizing it is: How does one stay between the two, avoiding inferiority and superiority at the same time?
There’s an alternate mindset that cuts through this. Everything written after “To be special” is false. Being special is automatically encoded in our human nature. Each person is by design unique to the next. It’s impossible to be anything but special. Even fingerprints are unique.
This awareness might tease out another limiting factor: Fear of being weird-made fun of for your uniqueness. Back when your environment, decisions, and relationships were limited as a kid, your subconscious computer created an autopilot program of judgment to protect you from this. Once you declare your independence (and especially now that we have the internet), you are free to go meet the others will appreciate your uniqueness.
Luckily this fear hasn’t stopped everyone from embracing their “weirdness” or else we wouldn’t have all of the inventions and creativity that we have today. And, yet, sadly, breaking through the judgment is considered a courageous act that not everyone will do. It is, however, possible (and easy) for everyone to break these patterns through hypnosis and other powerful subconscious mind techniques. That’s what Bridgenosis does.
So, let’s go back to specialness and why we don’t need to try to sit between superior and inferior. Since specialness is a given for each person (including you), you don’t have to prove or earn it (proving and earning is for grades and the school system; it’s not for your whole life).
Your intuition or internal compass, which resides in your heart space, is the source of your unique passions, gifts, and purpose. This is your greatest asset and value, and it always knows what to say. When you’re speaking and your confident of your own compass, you are able to connect with your audience in a deep and authentic way. The words just flow. When you speak from the heart, it reaches more hearts.
The joy you feel when you speak is the energy that fuels the best words that could flow from you, and the energy reaches your audience. It fuels your responses to the audience and ensures your exchange is positive and impactful. Joy isn’t something you “deserve” or “earn”–it’s a necessary part of sharing your gift.
You see, your gift is a gift to you because it’s something you can do for others that is easy and fun to do (for you). It’s a gift to others because they need or want what you are offering-it does not come easily or joyfully to them when they are trying to do it.
Of course, some humans are similar to others in terms of gifts. More than one person is gifted at public speaking, for example. However, no two people are going to have the same exact impact on the same exact people. Competition is an illusion.
You might consider the notion that the same source that flows through you connecting you to your gifts also has a plan created for you to share them with the right people, at the right time, and in the right way. It’s uniquely made for you. Since each person has this uniqueness, you don’t need to apologize for accessing it. Apologize for not accessing it if you are holding yourself back (just kidding; don’t apologize or feel guilty; you get my point). When you do share your gifts, the people who are ready to receive them benefit.
There’s an old saying (not sure who said it first), “When you get nervous, focus on service.” This takes your mind away from the illusions of inadequacy, jealousy, and superiority and towards allowing your most wise self to take the reigns and do what you came to do, which is share your gifts and be of service.
And, when you get tired of repeating this every time you go to speak to overcome nervousness and anxiety, come to Bridgenosis where we can program it into your mindset. You can use your subconscious computer to create a positive automated belief program of calmness and confidence that knows your value and that you are safe to share it now. It’s for real!
Now, it’s your turn. Leave a comment and let others know what speaking gifts you offer to the world.
It can’t be “weirder” than mine. LOL. When I speak before groups whether it’s a keynote, workshop, or retreat, I talk about how to access your subconscious computer and realign it with your wisest self, and we actually use the tools with the group to ensure a powerful mindshift is made. We don’t just talk about it. We do it. Yes, we even do hypnosis at the end, and I provide attendees with an electronic copy of the audio mindshifter for repeated listening. It’s actually not weird at all. People have expressed their gratitude and enjoy it. And, I find it super joyful and rewarding, but I, too, had to get past the same fears in this article.
If you enjoyed this on public speaking, check out Part 3.