When clients come to me with goals or issues, I start the session by searching for the underlying limiting beliefs. Here’s what we uncovered in one gluten intolerance case:
It began when he was experiencing extremely stressful work circumstances. All of his time and attention were focused on the stressful situation. He was taking responsibility for and agreeing to solve every problem that he could see. He wasn’t sleeping much, eating well, exercising or paying any attention to his body or himself. After a period of time, one day after lunch, he got so sick that he had to go to bed.
Initially, he didn’t know what caused his illness. After a while, he realized gluten was the guilty culprit, so he (reluctantly) eliminated it from his diet.
What was the subconscious underlying brilliance of the gluten intolerance?
• It forced him to focus on his health: first, throwing him into bed requiring him to rest, something he never did, and then requiring attention to his diet.
• This was an over-the-top boundary established because there were none.
Gluten, which existed in much of the fast food he was consuming on the fly, was not the only thing that had permeated his life during the stressful work times. So was the word “yes”…he was saying “yes” to every opportunity to outwardly produce. Eventually, he became “allergic” and had to start saying no. Saying “no” to gluten was good practice, but it wasn’t until several years later during our session that this message became clear.
The only ding he ever received in his performance reviews (which were glowing) was that he overly filled his plate and needed to learn workload management.
What were the limiting beliefs driving the workload management behavior and underlying the gluten boundary? (I’m including some that may not have applied to him but often apply to those who have problems setting boundaries and saying “no”.)
• My value is based only on what I can produce or do for others.
• I feel responsible for problems beyond my control.
• I feel guilty when I see a problem and am not or cannot doing anything to solve it.
• If I don’t do it, it won’t get done.
• I’ll get fired or get dinged if I say no to a request even though I really don’t have time to fulfill it.
• So and so will be upset, mad, hurt, negatively impacted if I personally don’t do what is requested.
• I won’t be liked.
We have all heard one or more of these records playing in the background (subconscious). When one of these songs is playing and you feel bad (fear, anxiety, anger, worry, guilt (see blog on guilt-driven behavior and decisions)), STOP before doing anything.
There’s wisdom in the emotion. Negative emotion=illusion-based choice. Positive emotion or neutrality=intuitive, wise choice. Click to Tweet.
My client was very perceptive and could read people and situations quickly. He could assess the issues all around him, and he attracted people with issues because they knew he would do everything in his power to help them. He is a very compassionate and generous person driven to help others and have a positive impact. Thus, it makes sense that his first impulse or habit when he saw a problem was to solve it himself.
However, just because you see a problem and a solution doesn’t seem apparent at that time doesn’t mean you are the best person to provide a solution. Click to Tweet.
It doesn’t mean that others won’t also be included in the solution or that it won’t get done if you don’t do it.
The trick is knowing your role in any given situation. This is where trusting yourself and your internal compass comes in handy. Everyone has one, and it covers all directions of our lives: outward production/positive impact, health, relationships, fun activities and so forth. It knows how to balance all of these things. It understands, for example, that we can’t ignore our health because it’s our ticket to being on this planet. It understands what role we are to be playing in any given situation. It’s always there.
We can’t ignore our health because it’s our ticket to being on this planet. Click to Tweet.
The question is, are you listening to it? Sometimes it’s hard to hear it when there are loud records like those above playing in the background. Sometimes we get conflicted.
Right before I executed the hypnotherapy portion of the session, I asked him if he was willing to trade his extreme wheat boundary and the outdated records for a new habit of honoring the boundaries set by his internal compass. Is he willing to say “yes” and “no” as it feels right to him? Is he willing to trust his compass to help him create the balance needed to stay healthy and take care of himself personally while also moving forward as the leader that he is? YES. YES. YES.
“Ok, then, settle back and relax…” From there, we established and recorded a creative communication with the subconscious mind to make the switch.
I also showed him a few quick Energy Medicine techniques to help retrain his system to shift to this new habit before he left. After one week of listening to the hypnosis download and doing the techniques every day, he started consuming wheat again and has never looked back.
A few months later, his performance review was given. He was commended for mastering his workload and given a raise. A few months after that, he was promoted. When others were losing their jobs as his company was reorganizing and laying people off, he was spared.
There’s much wisdom in the body. It’s a matter of gleaning and translating it so it can pragmatically be applied to everyday life.