I love this “Dammit Doll” I recently received as a give-away at a Her Corner Networking event. It makes light of anger and provides an alternative to acting upon the emotion. I started thinking about how much time we often waste in business giving into anger rather than stopping to heed its message.
Overtime, I have come to realize that when I’m angry, it’s really because subconsciously, I’m afraid I’m not going to move positively forward. It comes when I have a plan and something is blocking that plan. Grrrrr. I used to push through and force things to continue as planned only to realize that it wasn’t the best course.
A couple of years ago, I started resisting the urge to push, and I found things moving more smoothly and efficiently. Simple example: When I left my law firm in 2011 to start Bridgenosis, I was diligently organizing all of my case files to transfer them to the right attorneys in case they needed access. On the last day, I was still making CDs for all of the electronic documents when my CD burner broke. This may sound funny 2 years later, but, way back then, we placed a CD with electronic documents in all of the files.
Panic, frustration, and anger emerged as I was trying to get it to work. IT folks could not help right away. The clock was ticking. I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to finish before I had to leave. Then, I disciplined myself to stop and relax.
Free from the negative emotion, my mind cleared, and it dawned on me to ask my fellow lawyer friend next door to make the last CDs for me. All I had to do was put the files on the universally-accessed t-drive. After making one CD, it occurred to me that organizing everything on the main t-drive network was the best way to go. When I was done, I sent every one a link they could quickly access. This was perfect since some of the people who needed access were not even in the DC office.
Embarrassing, but true, if I had not stopped to relax, I probably would have spent a ton of time and energy (and other people’s energy) making all of those CDs and no one would have had that universal network access.
Many of us are trained to push even more forward in stress and frustration. However, our internal wise compass has much better advice if we will just stop and listen. Click to Tweet!
Releasing the limiting belief that, “I’m not going to positively move forward or get what I want.” is key. Trust what feels peaceful instead-take your compass’ advice. It’s free. It’s brilliant, and it won’t negatively impact your health or slow you down. It will actually take you down your path faster.
If you need help with this, get a Dammit Doll—by the time you’re done whacking it, your “aha” moment is sure to emerge.
Can you think of times when things weren’t going as planned and you forced yourself to stop and clear your emotions and mind and “a ha” moments came to you? Would love to hear about them in the comments.