While the result may be a pleasant surprise, serendipity isn’t really an accident or dumb luck. It’s not as though there is a limited supply being doled out by chance. Click to Tweet!

It’s something we can create any time, and allowing it will lead you to greater success and fewer conflicts as a leader, professionally and personally.

The key to allowing more serendipity is being open to unplanned occurrences. Click to Tweet!

Instead of stressing when your plans break down beyond your control, wear your creative hat and invite a pleasant surprise. Trust that all is actually under control.

Here’s how to create more serendipity with five simple steps:

I’ll demonstrate the steps with a recent personal example because it’s easier to practice and build confidence in this process around goals from which you can easily detach. Last Friday afternoon, I got a spontaneous itch to spend a night or two in the Shenandoah Mountains, which is about two hours away. Serendipity came to my aid.

STEP 1: Declare what you want. For me, this meant texting my boyfriend, “Let’s go stay in the Shenandoah this weekend!” My vision: To enjoy the mountains as much as possible over the weekend.

Business Translation: This may be your vision statement, business plan, a phone call to one of your senior managers or business partners, an item on your action or strategy plan, or a similar act.

STEP 2: Define it. The next day over late morning brunch, we hovered over our laptops researching camping versus rental options. Camping required more planning to be fun, as we were missing some key equipment, but it was the most available option in terms of reservations. Though we both felt a little stress around trying to camp last minute, it was tempting to go against our gut and try for it, as it seemed to be the only option available. Instead, we opted to invite in chance and focus on the rental potential for the weekend and left some voicemails.

Business Translation: Consider what feels the best and learn about the steps needed to create it. Notice your level of stress during the process. Go with what feels the best, even if it doesn’t seem feasible at that moment. For example, make the phone calls that you’re inspired to make, even if you don’t think they will lead anywhere.

In order to invite in serendipity, you have to leave space for pleasant surprises. Click to Tweet!

STEP 3: Detach from it; Redefine it-create your Plan B; and then do it. We spoke with one person who had a great house available Sunday at 3 p.m. That would mean we would leave the next morning, when rain was scheduled and then head back Monday morning. We were eager to enjoy the weather and mountains right then, not wait till Sunday, and the clock was ticking as we sat at our laptops. A small voice inside me said, just go in that direction, and it will work out. We didn’t have anywhere to stay overnight, but we knew we wanted to spend as much time that weekend enjoying the view from a mountain. We detached from our original desire for a last minute overnight trip and decided to head to Bluemont Winery, which overlooks a valley, to catch the last few hours of the afternoon.

Business Translation: Make a decision that feels right and move forward. A lot of time in business gets wasted looking at all the options and waiting for every detail to come perfectly into place before deciding on a plan of action. Know when to stop the research and just go with what is possible then. Keep your vision in mind at all times and take real steps that lead to your vision.

STEP 4: Detached Planning is Key. We could have done this a little better than we did. I had this feeling we may end up staying in the mountains, so I threw a quick bag together-mostly ensuring we had dog food for my pup who was coming with us. However, I didn’t completely trust it would work out, so we didn’t pack many essentials, like clothes, contact solution, and a hairbrush. We did include some fruit and water bottles in case we were able to go hiking and extra zip-ups in case it got cold. I didn’t want to get my hopes up or waste anymore time planning for something that may or may not happen, so we hopped in the car. A few more seconds throwing together essentials probably wouldn’t have interfered, but we had what we needed to execute both plans. The key is that we were happy with Plan B and were ready for Plan A.

Business Translation: Remain detached from the outcome, while still holding space for it. Go after the plan that puts you on the path for your ultimate goal while allowing you to achieve smaller goals that fulfill your vision. Determine the bare-bone essentials that you will need to capitalize on the pleasant surprise. Spend just enough time and resources to meet the unknown. Don’t invest so much in your known plan that you don’t feel free to change to a better route when it emerges.

STEP 5: Stay open to the possibilities, keep the ideas flowing and allow your vision to grow and manifest. Welcome a change in your plans. While we were on the way, I texted a good friend who lives and keeps her horses about 20 minutes from winery. She couldn’t meet up with us but welcomed a visit at her barn, which she had just moved into the previous day. I recalled how much fun we have had sitting outside at her other barn enjoying the views, a little wine, and some good conversation. We now had another beautiful place with a great friend included in our plan-extending our time outdoors in the mountains after the winery closed.

A few minutes later, the first housing rental option we called earlier that day called to say that their guests from Denmark left that morning. And, since they never have last minute calls for the place on Saturday, they left for the day and just received our message. The rental is ours if we want it, breakfast and stocked fridge included. They operate it like a bed and breakfast providing some essentials. It took us about 2 minutes to change our plan. We skipped the winery and headed straight to our friend’s barn for a bit and then headed to Luray where we actually stayed at “The Barn…” (That’s the name of their little hideaway.) It was truly perfect and more than we expected to find. They even had availability for us to stay Sunday night for a discounted rate, so we were able to maximize our goal of enjoying the mountain-view as much as possible over the weekend. The view was amazing. Food and CVS were nearby to make-up for anything we didn’t bring.

The timing of their call, later in the day, was also perfect. If we had gone earlier, we would have missed the chance to connect with a great friend and see another beautiful aspect of the country.

Business Translation: People, opportunities, circumstances, and resources are also fluid in business. A networking event that you feel inspired to attend could open an unexpected door. A phone call, an email, new information found on the Internet, and even a delay at the airport that forces you on a different plane could place you next to someone that positively changes your organization.

When plans change beyond your control, be open to the new possibilities and assume that you’re being directed to something better than you planned. Stressing and spinning your wheels to stop the change will only waste time and resources and create a rocky path.

Expect serendipity to meet you half-way in unexpected forms each day, and you will find it pouring into your business. Click to Tweet!

What serendipitous moments have powered your business or your personal life? Click to Tweet! Let us know in the comment section. The more we can share our experiences and acknowledge the role of serendipity, the more we can invite it into our daily lives.

To read further, you can find it as a guest post on Meg Appleby’s blog by clicking here.

1) A unique explanation of what causes stress and why energy medicine and other relaxation techniques are important for us to do in order to retrain our protective responses;

2) How stress inhibits our ability to create success; and

3)  One thing that I do to lead by example: Specifically, I explain how to use external conflicts in order to spot limiting beliefs and provide an example of how I have done this in my own life.

To read her short blog post and watch the video, click here. To go straight to the video blog, click here.

To view the video blog on YouTube, click here.

If you try out the techniques, leave a comment about your experience with them!

1) How and why I left my law practice to form Bridgenosis;

2) How leaders and organizations can benefit from Bridgenosis;

3) An introduction to the concept of limiting beliefs underlying chronic organizational and personal issues;

4) How Bridgenosis works with organizations; and 5) A unique and cutting edge way of viewing lawsuits and our litigious society and how to build a bridge between conflict and success.

To view the video blog, click here. The next two parts will follow in the coming weeks.

You can find it as a guest post on Meg Appleby’s blog by clicking here.

Let me be clear that unconditional self-love does not mean tolerating negative behavior. Nor does it mean being selfish or greedy. I’m talking about self-perception, which ultimately drives our ability to trust and believe in ourselves, which in turn affects how we perceive others and the decisions we make.

Self-perception (including any limiting beliefs) is what drives every organization. Click to Tweet!

To unpack this, I’m re-posting my last year’s Valentine’s Day blurb with a revised twist. This year, I want to take it a step further. At the risk of sounding too soft, I assert that unconditional self-love and positive self-perception are often overlooked, yet essential, ingredients to strong leadership and organizational composition.

The same kinds of distracting thoughts that may keep us from fully enjoying Valentine’s day also distract us from our vision as executives and as employees. Click to Tweet!

Take a moment to think about Valentine’s Day and notice what emotions and thoughts come up for you. If you feel complete joy and peace or even neutrality in your heart, then bask in it and read on to remember why you feel so good and how you might apply it to other areas of your life (That is, after the first bullet points-although, they are still worth reading since most can relate to at least one of these bullets previously). If you feel tense, sad, fearful, tense, worried, anxious, embarrassed, neglected, guilty, annoyed, irritated, or bored, review the bullet points to see if any fit.

Valentine’s Day is a day centered on romance (although many of us grew up giving Valentines to our friends and family as well). Most of us associate opening our hearts and Valentine’s Day with connecting to others and outward expressions of love. However, we can’t do that if we are thinking and feeling negatively about ourselves. Let’s dissect it and shift to a better-feeling place.

Here’s a list of thoughts that may be interfering with your ability to feel good today:

· Sad or Fearful: I don’t have a romantic relationship now, so this may mean I’m unlovable or worst yet, I may never find my “one.” My valentine is far away.

· Worry or Tense or Anxious: I’m in a new relationship, and I don’t know what to get them…worry thoughts about not giving enough or giving too much emerge. What if I like them more than they like me or vice-versa?

· Embarrassed or Neglected: That you gave and they didn’t give you anything. Either because they forgot or didn’t feel ready to acknowledge the holiday with you or they ran out of time. Or, maybe you forgot, so are embarrassed. Or, maybe they planned to break things off…

· Guilty or Irritated or Annoyed: I’m in a dying relationship, and I feel bad about ending it so close to Valentine’s Day (before or after), and I’m not feeling a strong connection but feel an obligation to buy that token gift because they are a good person. You love them still but not like the way you once thought. You wish it wasn’t V-Day so you could ignore this fact.

· Angry: You forgot and you are mad at yourself. You only got a card. You wanted roses but got flowers or chocolate. You have to work late or your Valentine has to work late so you can’t do anything special that day. You wish they would treat you like you are special year around…Valentine’s Day is stupid since we should be doing this every day or because it is a waste of time.

· Bored: Maybe deep down, if you’re really honest, the holiday bores you because you’ve been there and done that and you and your partner are pretty comfortable with each other. You kind of wish you felt a little more passion about the day.

If any of these thoughts (or similar ones) resonate with you, stop thinking them for a moment.

The truth is that what happens or doesn’t happen on Valentine’s Day (and any day) only has the meaning you give it. (Perception.) Click to Tweet!

We all have the capacity to feel love or inner-peace at any given moment, even every moment, if we choose. If you wait for something particular to happen (someone else to do or say something, to achieve a goal, to receive something, to give something, to say or do something, to meet someone, to leave someone, to start something, to end something, to be something, etc.) before you can feel that inner-peace, that “I’m awesome just because I feel like feeling awesome,” that joy for just being, then you may be waiting a long time.

Or, perhaps subconsciously (or without realizing it) you are only allowing it in spurts as the conditions are met.

When we place conditions on allowing ourselves to feel good, we unconsciously and inevitably place them on everyone around us. Click to Tweet!

This is the dynamic of limiting beliefs that can unintentionally drive an organization into internal and external conflict. Click to Tweet!

This is not to say that we should not have goals, visions, desires, outward connections, actions, etc. These external factors play a role in living a fulfilling life, but they are not a source of joy/peace. We have to go inward for that, which is explains why a day at the beach, a vacation, or a run along the river can result in peace and joy. However, it’s not the location or action that causes us to be or feel love. Rather, we reconnect with who we really are when we strip away our outward interactions during these moments, and then we find peace. Take the time now to do this where you are…don’t wait for a vacation or time of day. Doing so will help you to clarify your vision and actions, which will have a rippling affect on your organization.

Since peace comes from within, whatever your situation is today, allow yourself to feel peace. Stop with the excuses. Click to Tweet!

Take a second to consciously breath deeply and remember that truth-that you have the capacity to feel love anywhere, anytime, around anyone. Connect to the wise part of you that is not limited to time or space or any of the thousands of conditions/excuses we have created.

Now for the truth that trumps the Valentine’s scenarios above (and see how they can also apply in your organization):

· Of course you are loveable. What does having a Valentine have to do with that? Love yourself however you are today. Be confident as you look around at all the happy couples that it’s possible for you to create that too, but don’t wait for it to feel good. Feel good now. Feel good even if you can’t be with your Valentine today.

· So what if you like someone more or they like you more? It doesn’t have to mean anything when you know that we all have this capacity to be and feel love for ourselves regardless of what gift is bought. Take a breath and let your intuition guide you to the best course of action.

· Be proud of who you are and give yourself some attention. When you give yourself attention, it will be impossible for you to feel embarrassed or neglected by someone else’s lack.

· Trust that the other person can find love the same way you can. Don’t play into anything different. It’s a trick. It’s an illusion. Guilt can be such a thief…reach into your heart for a solution. V-Day doesn’t have to be for romantic love. You can show appreciation if you still feel some however feels right. Trust what feels right. Do that.

· Gain control by remembering the true source of love and then allow yourself to feel it. Nothing else matters. Commit to doing this regularly, and you won’t feel angry even if you forget to cross your T’s. Let go and forgive yourself for not doing this a moment ago so you don’t waste another moment. For those holding your breath because you think that if you start to feel good, something bad will happen, just let go. Feeling good is never the cause.

· If you turn inward regularly to feel good, you will never feel bored.

Take this relaxed feeling and apply it to any topics or tasks that are before you. Notice the thoughts that come to you in this state. Notice the inspiration as you allow a new perspective to take hold. Remember that we all have this capacity to feel good by being the love that we want and that if we commit to being love, then there is no need to place conditions on ourselves or others. Notice how efficient we become when we aren’t wasting our time calling for love. See how others respond to our leadership when we confidently lead from within by doing this. See our organizations taking new shape.

To learn about the unique ways that Bridgenosis® can help your organization to transform itself by shifting perceptions, set up a complimentary phone consultation by calling us at (202) 709-6013 .

by Artist Marielle

I’m not talking about those times when something doesn’t go as planned only for something way better than we imagined to come along. I’m talking about the repeated karmic cycles or “bad luck.”  How much money are these costing us personally and professionally as well as in our businesses? Luckily they can be stopped. Here’s how:

Let your mind recall one now, and come on a journey with me to stop a cycle. Recall every scenario you can that is just like this pattern that is on your mind.

Need an example? Perhaps you can relate to a recent one that I uncovered, and we can shift together to create something better.

Awareness is often heightened by obvious and annoying instances that we can’t brush-off. Click to tweet!

Speaking of trains, last Wednesday, I road one to NYC from DC for the day. Just when we were only 20 minutes from the city, the train was held in NJ for a while, and we were finally told to take the subway into town. It deposited me into a different part of the city than I planned, but I made my way. No real harm was done.

On the way back, I jumped on the subway just two minutes from my meetings and rode directly to Penn Station. Too easy.  And, I was all set with my electronic ticket on my iphone, which was up on my screen. One more slice of pizza, a hot chocolate and my phone/ticket in my pocket, and I was all set to leave NYC on time. They called for our train, and I got in line, pulled out my phone and my ticket was gone.

My pocket deleted it. I was anxiously telling this to the train conductor, and all she could do was point me across the station towards the ticket booth. Luckily, I ran right up to the window, and the ticket person printed it out for me. I dashed back to the line and ran to the train. All was good with a few minutes to spare.

“I’m not going to get there in time.” “I’m going to miss it.”  “It’s not going to happen in time.” These are the subconscious recordings that were playing deep inside my mind. It stood out to me that I had delays on both ends of the same wonderful trip, one directly caused by me. And both of them caused me to almost miss something.

I thought about other delays that were happening in my life. Other instances of “I’m missing out. It’s not happening in time.” Recently, several holding-patterns have played out in my business, and some in my personal life-enough for me to have spotted a theme of DELAY. None of them were directly related to each other, except that they were all connected to me. Most were caused by other people, but using the Bridgenosis® perspective, it makes no difference. I’m attracting the behavior, so it’s up to me to locate and change the thought patterns I’m playing in my subconscious to create this “reality.”

As I pondered my life, I could think of many instances where I was rushing to be somewhere or to get something completed. It’s curious to me that they are instances where I really want and care about something. My first true long vacation in 6 years in 2010 was almost sabotaged by overlooking a step I needed to take before heading to New Zealand. There’s no question I was excited to head there.

I also thought of instances where I had unusual delays before I could receive a reward or achieve something, and they spanned back to living in the South where the culture moves at a slower pace. So, we can’t just brush it off and say it was the “rushing hustle and bustle” energy of NYC or Washington DC where I have lived the last five years.

Luckily, this has not affected every goal or reward in my life, but it is still a theme and one that is particularly acute right now. I’m going to own this so I can create something else.

There’s power in the “ah ha” moment of uncovering old and disabling thought patterns. Click to Tweet!

This is when law of attraction is a blessing because we can choose our thoughts, which allows us to create what we want.

Of course, I never realized I needed to choose a different thought until some frustrating patterns signaled to me that I needed to take a deeper look at myself. So, what did I do once I located the subconscious recordings of, “I’m not going to get there in time.” “I’m going to miss it.”  “It’s not going to happen in time.”?

I focused on what I want to believe instead: I’m achieving every vision I set out to achieve in a relaxed and timely manner. It’s all happening at the right time. I’m receiving rewards and benefits without delay. Each goal has the intention and force of moving forward easily and effortlessly.

Sometimes, we need to use hypnosis or emotional freedom techniques when an old thought is stubborn and wants to hang around. These techniques help us to tap into our creative mind. This time, I was able to make the shift by intentionally relaxing and focusing on the positive new thoughts for a few days. Although no memory associated with this belief surfaced this time, sometimes there is one.

My guess is that I nearly missed a fun opportunity as a kid, and my mind developed a belief, which really only applied to that instance.  I’m also guessing that by focusing on the concern that I may miss out on something, I also likely developed a lot of great habits. This is what I find in my clients as well-the most limting beliefs have the best of intentions and often served us well at one point in time. And, sometimes the old thought was created with the intention of protecting us, so a deeper technique is needed.

Anyone can benefit from this process.

If you are leader, do you see patterns happening within your organization that you would like to change? They may have a large dollar-sign attached to them; however, this simple, but powerful process can be used to uncover and shift the underlying limiting perspectives. Bridgneosis® specializes in helping organizations to create greater success through this type of process. Call us at (202) 709-6013.

Winter Reflection Photo by Artist Marielle

Looking around us now in the winter, the trees are naked. Without their leaves and blooms, it’s easy to wonder if they are still alive. It may even be depressing to look at the bare limbs, as you recall the beautiful colors they once created in the previous seasons.

Don’t be so deceived. The trees are creating new seeds.

Winter is a time of going inward to find beauty, creativity, and the spark of light that will unquestionably manifest itself in due course. In some places, the cold air forces us to stay inside, and we need a little more sleep than in the other seasons. Embrace this time to reflect, connect with your wisdom, and find your inspiration.

Today is also the end of a 365-day period. You may be feeling a bit of regret or disappointment if certain goals or resolutions remain unfulfilled. You may be feeling a bit of relief that you can start all over again. You may be feeling overwhelmed by all the hype of the New Year. Wherever you find yourself, take heart in these three ideas:

Create new seeds. Believe before you see. Blossoms guaranteed. Click to Tweet!

1) Create new seeds: We are constantly creating new seeds, especially in the Winter. Now is the time to think about what you want. This can be confusing because we often subconsciously may be playing old programs-habits, outdated desires, worries, fears, and so on. The old, stale thoughts may be taking up space and causing resistance as you try to assess what your intuition is guiding you to create.

To make this easy, follow this simple rule of noticing your feelings: If you feel negative emotion or anxiety, you’re thinking a thought that conflicts with your intuition or you’re headed in the opposite direction from which your compass wants you to move. If you feel neutral to positive emotions, then you’re in alignment. The heart will always steer you in the right direction. Trust it.

2) Believe before you see. Sometimes we play these songs of skepticism, lack of confidence, and doubt about our abilities in the background and don’t even realize it until we sit down to create new seeds. When you write or draw your goals/vision for what you want to create, notice any feelings of doubt. Remove them. One way to do this is to look back on the previous years at all that you have created. Count your blessings and note everything you have done well. Stay in that peaceful space of gratitude and confidence. If you start to slip out of it, discipline yourself to get back in it.

3) Blossoms guaranteed. Piggybacking on No. 2, repeat this mantra: “Blossoms Guaranteed.” Say it any time you question whether your seeds are growing. Resist the urge to dig up the garden and see if the seeds are making roots, yet. That’s right, trust, and trust again. It’s one thing to set goals, watch for results, and tweak your vision as you go along. It’s another thing to obsess over whether the blossoms will come. With too much water (or fear), you could create your worst fear by drowning the blossoms or digging them up before they have a chance at life. Nurture with confidence. Blossoms guaranteed.

Finally, sometimes we need a little help weeding out our gardens before we can plant new seeds. Bridgenosis® works. We can spot those weeds, otherwise known as the illusions or limiting beliefs that conflict with your intuition. And, then we help you pull them and plant the seeds that you really want using hypnotherapy as well as energy techniques such as Emotional Freedom Technique and Energy Medicine. And, what we do best is teach you how to maintain your own garden so that you feel empowered to continue on your own.

Those of us who were not directly affected can only feel a fraction of their deep sadness, anger and fear, but there is an obvious tugging at the hearts of nearly all Americans (and world-wide). It is this kind of loss that makes it difficult to feel inner-peace and joy. The heart closes in an effort to heal. Energetic anxiety-ridden protective responses take a toll on the body.

Millions are asking, “How can I help those who were crushed by this tragedy?”

There are two simple things I explain in these two short videos that each of us can do right now to help speed the healing process.

I was in the process of creating these videos before the tragedy.

1. How to Let Go: The first one was originally for helping: a) those mourning the loss of loved ones during the holiday season; and b) those who have trouble letting go of the expectations we place on ourselves and each other during this time. There is a common tendency to replay conversations and events in our minds, keeping us from being present, from being able to feel love. It can be hard to let go. This technique, which takes 20 seconds or less, helps with all of this. (Total Video Time: 2:08; Technique Demo at 1:15.)

2. How to Feel Love: The second one, which takes two minutes to perform, helps us to be calm and centered and feel secure and peaceful. There are many other benefits, which I explain briefly in the video. (Total Video Time: 4:20; Technique Demos at 2:00 and 3:00.)

I hope these videos make it to those directly affected by the tragedy.

However, each of us can help them by doing these techniques as well. We can act as their surrogate healers. How does this work?

1) We are all tied together energetically. When something happens to one of us, it happens to all of us. Just as we can feel the negative affects of the tragedy, we can also engage in powerful (though simple) techniques to shift ourselves and each other from the negative space into a neutral or joyful space.

2) Allow yourself to be in the shoes of those directly affected for a moment. Feel the sadness, anger, fear, shock and any other negative emotion that wells up inside you.

3) Next, do each of these two techniques to move into a more positive space. (Spend as much time as you need.) Intend to send the positive feelings you generate to everyone who needs them.

4) Adding to this process can be anything that helps you to clear your mind and negative emotions and open your heart: meditation, yoga, prayer, exercise, being in nature, additional energy shifting exercises, such as Emotional Freedom Technique Choices Method, and more.

Lastly, it may seem strange to ask you to do something for yourself in order to help someone else. But, this tragedy reminds us that at any given moment, we can either “be love” or “call for love.”

“Being love” isn’t about what you do for someone else. It’s about allowing yourself to feel love inside, free of conditions.  You don’t have to do, say, or produce anything to earn it. You don’t have to have a certain title, play a certain role or reach a certain goal. Similarly, others do not have to say or do anything for you to feel love.

Sometimes we are held captive by our own subconscious illusions about our ability to “be love,” and we become afraid we can’t do it, don’t deserve it, don’t know how, or can’t have it because we see that someone else does. It is in these moments that we forget that we can be love for free without any conditions or requirements and that there’s no cap on it, and we “call for love.” When we are in this insecure state, our “calls for love” can range from guilting someone into doing something that we think will make us feel better (fairly common in our culture) to committing crimes.

Sometimes we are so focused on trying to meet a condition to feel love (that doesn’t need to be met and won’t bring us love) that we are unable to “be love,” be present with others, and send love. Click to Tweet! 

Sometimes we get into a vicious cycle of responding to others’ “calls for love” by “calling for love” back. To stop the cycle, respond by choosing to “be love.” This doesn’t mean tolerating bad behavior or refraining from action. It does mean making it a priority to feel love and peace inside regardless.

Sometimes a tragedy hits so hard that it seems impossible to feel peace or love inside. This is when we need everyone else to hold the space for us by taking the lead to “be love”-to feel peace. This energetic leadership is what need now more than ever.

I hope you will take a moment to try these simple techniques and set aside time to focus on feeling peace in your heart as we move through the holidays and into 2013.